Recovery is about focusing on yourself & your own short comings, character defects & relationship behavior.
The reason for this is simple.
You can not change, save, fix or rescue other people only yourself.
You can try as many people do but in the end you will soon discover that it can not be done.
That is a good example of what powerlessness really is.
The various different 12 step recovery programs for various different types of problems offer a way & means
of taking a good look at yourself & correcting them.
Counselors & therapist also provide you the means to take personal inventory.
People born & raised in dysfunctional families always point their finger at the other person
& try to Blame them for all of their own problems.
They have a tendency to do this even when a choice they themselves made in their past life
is really the cause of their problem.
Recovery demands brutal honesty & blaming others is not being honest.
Take the man or woman who is going through a divorce & constantly obsesses over what their
husband or wife did to them to hurt them.
They forget the fact that they chose this person as a relationship partner in the first place
& if that would have never taken place they would not be sitting where they are now.
Needy people make bad relationship choices over & over again.
Their own personal neediness is responsible for their bad self destructive choices.
Look at the woman who complains about how a man she was not married to gave her an STD
or got her pregnant & then abandoned her.
Her own bad personal choice to have sex with a man she was not married to is why she got an STD
or pregnant but she does not seem to be able to see that part of herself. She blames it all on him.
Sex outside of a loving & caring mutually committed monogamous relationship ( promiscuity )
is high risk dangerous behavior.
Recovery is about admitting your own mistakes & bad choices then correcting them so you do not
make the same bad choices or mistakes ever again.
This is called growing up & taking responsibility for you own actions & choices.
Alcoholism, addiction & codependency causes people to make bad decisions & choices.
Those afflicted must admit that their personal problems & difficulties are of their own making.
Blame is a signpost of dysfunctional relationship behavior.
It is also a signpost of being raised in a dysfunctional family.
Remember that the next time someone takes off blaming another person for all their problems.
We make our beds & then we have to sleep in them.
During the decision making process, when in doubt,
the best answer almost always seems to be no.
The best recovery advice anyone could ever give or receive?
If nothing changes then nothing changes.
Difficult recovery work is the only solution.
Many dysfunctional people choose to just stay sick & enjoy their misery.
However, their dysfunctional behavior never magically disappears or goes away ( count on that ).