| The Intoxication Of Young Love Theory ( Sex Addicts ) |
The most euphoric thing on mother earth for most human beings is the opening rounds of a new & more exciting romantic relationship. Picture in your mind the young couple sitting together on a park bench & getting lost in each other to the extent they could care less about who might be watching them or what is going on around them. The professionals call this the intoxication of young love which affects the arousal template later on in life. Think back to the first time you held hands with your very first boyfriend or girlfriend & how that felt. That feeling ( emotional high/intoxication ) is what the female or male sex, love or romance addict is after or attempting to re-create by repeatedly indulging in their bottom line sex, love or romance acting out behaviors. They have no idea they are doing this due to their denial & delusion which is very powerful over them & has actually taken control of them & their lives.
Problem is afterwards they often times experience emotionally painful guilt or shame & crash. Then they begin the acting out process all over again to medicate their guilt or shame. This is called living in the squirrel cage. All active untreated sex, love or romance addicts are living in the squirrel cage & they will never be able to get out of it unless they find a way to stop acting out in their bottom line behaviors. For people new to recovery guilt says what I did was no good, shame on the other hand says I am no good. Shame is said to be the most painful feeling a human being could ever experience. Guilt & shame is the fuel that feeds & fires addiction. When addicts stop acting out in their addictions their guilt & shame is reduced & thus the power their addiction has over them is reduced. If their very first encounter with romantic sex or love came in the form of overt or covert sexual abuse, molestation, rape, incest or other types of trauma through no fault of their own the end result is usually repeated unconscious reenactment episodes or in some cases sexual anorexia which acts in instead of out which is now being called avoidance addiction. This is why the term ' Hurt People Hurt People ' is very important for recovering addicts to learn & understand. They do to themselves or others what was done to them is another way of putting it.
except their own brains & bodies produce the powerful chemicals that get them high or mood alter them. Someone like me who has lost or wasted the better part of his life does not really need a scientific explanation of anything when it comes to sex, love or romance addiction. For me it just reality. No one knows for sure why some people ( both men & women ) are born with the body chemistry that makes this possible which is most often Referred to as an addictive personality . Dr. Patrick Carnes believes the process was started before they were even born ( they seem to be born that way ) ( AA Big Book ). He helped me save what I have left of my life so I have no reason to suspect that he could be wrong. The guys & gals in AA are not exactly less informed when it comes to addictions of any type or kind. There is no such thing as a person who knows more about addictions than they do & I could care less what their credentials are. It takes one to know one period. They also know what it takes to overcome addictions which has been a blessing in my life. Where would I be without them? Dead? Who knows? In reality, what all active untreated sex, love or romance addicts are really doing is losing their lives to a very powerful & life damaging addiction which is exactly what happened to me.
suffer emotionally painful & severe life damaging consequences. Recovering sex, love or romance addicts are well aware of this fact & have no desire to continue acting out in bottom line behavior. They know what the word intoxication means & what that can do to them. It can & will destroy them as persons, take away what they have left of their lives or even get them killed.
specifically with sex, love or romance addiction. Recovery is a process & not event. Three to five years of diligent recovery work is necessary before these types of addictions even begin to release the power they have over those afflicted. That is an example of just how powerful they really are. If that be you we hope for your sake that you take our word on that. Sexual addiction is anything but fun. The good people in AA puts it this way " I Was Living But I Was Dead ".
thing that is far more important to recovering sex, love or romance addicts then what they know or do not know about anything.
|
| Sex Addiction will not magically disappear or go away just because a person realizes they have it. |